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| Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell |
“A Spell…”
To Make A Certain Man Or Maiden Fall In Love: “...then in your best Attire, place yourself where you may be seen by the subject of this Spell. The visual rays meet and become a powerful vehicle of Love, by which means they pierce the Heart and produce the desired feeling.”
To Repel The Amorous Attentions Of A Certain Man Or Maiden: “One method is to tie a Bullfrog to one’s hat, another to sweeten the Breath with juice of the Onion. However, if these will not satisfy…”
To Induce Impotence: “Lovers be warned, for should the Wizard so enchanted discover the source of his Troubles, his wroth is sure to be great. Therefore we advise…”
To Counteract A Spell Of Impotence: “Take one dram of Ram’s blood (or Bull’s, if there be any near to hand), a pinch of the ashes of some hard wood, and a measure of Liquor also (not too strong)...”
To Bring About Good Fortune In Games Of Chance: “...having selected your Card (any card will do), say then...”
To Enrich Yourself By Fishing: “...having taken three of the Shells that grow on rocks, cast the Contents into the water and recite…”
To Bring A Boat Safely Home: “...name then the one who will wait for you, so that your boat will not fail to return to her so long as her vigil last”
To Keep Birds Out Of A Field: “...go and get you there an Owl, preferably of foul Temper, for with to make War upon the birds of the field. Say then to him...”
To Keep Off Wolves: “...thenceforth merely whistle, and do not stray from the path so spell-marked...”
To Abate A Hangover: “Wizard take heed: the only sure method against headache is to cultivate moderate habits and avoid the Evils of strong Drink. So saying: first, take three eggs and a full measure of the juice of the Tomato…”
To Help With The Brewing Of Good Ale: “...having sprinkled the herb, stir three times widdershins and recite…”
To Dispel Stinks And Miasmas: “...placing the thumbs between the first two fingers, sing out using a clear voice…”
To Make A Treasure-finding Candle: “...ignoring the Wisps that may be drawn to it, take up your Candle…”
To Make A Headless Candle: “...done correctly, the holder’s Head will appear invisible so long as the candle burns...”
To Make Frogs Cease Croaking At Night: “We feel obliged to append: there is no need to Shout, the spell having Equal Force when spoken softly, so long as the incantation and wand motions be correct.”
To Assume The Appearance Of An Elephant: “...In this wise, you may delight your friends and put your enemies to fright, so that we regard this to be a most Excellent Spell.”
To Heal A Pistol Or Musket Wound: “...having first dug out the shot, place it over the Fire and heat until it be melted. Apply then the powder, or Boiled Wine if this be not available, and plaster well...”
To Heal A Sword Wound: “...having soaked the needle thusly, so that it has well absorbed the healthful Essences, take it and jab him sharply in the gums...”
To Draw Forth Poison: “...having applied poultice, sing this charm over it three times, washing the body all the while to remove the sweat...”
To Produce Music From A Stone: “...so doing, the Stone will then be made to sing, lustily though not always well…”
To Transmute Base Materials Into Gold: “...some have said this Transmutation is impossible, but we aver that it is merely Unwise; nevertheless we will essay to describe the technique…”
To Enchant A Pine Cone With A Goodly Smell: “...being desirous of a Good Home and free of such noisome Vapors, do as we proscribe. First,...”
To Enhance The Breath And Whiten Teeth: “...so that the admixture becomes the good and cheerful red color which signifies healthy gums. Thereupon, taking up your brush… The wise Wizard will apply daily for best effect”
For The Easement Of Ablutions: “for the purposes of good Health and long Life, this spell will induce a flux to direct base matter and bodily corruptions downwards, improving the voiding of the Bowels. A simple tonic is required...”
For The Augmentation Of Soup: “with this simple spell, the enterprising Witch can feed a company upon the contents of a single soup pot. First, get thyself a goodish Stone…”
To See What My Enemy Is Doing Presently: “first taking a Mirror and the cut flowers, arrange thusly…”
To Ensure The Swift Payment Of Debts: “...having fed this to the Cat, take the creature and beat it soundly, so that it Wail”
To Drive Glooms From One’s House: “...casting the herbs into your fire, take up the Broom, first ensuring that all windows are open well and wide…”
To Make An Obstinate Man Leave Town: “...thereupon each paving stone will groan at his step, and at every bridge appear a looming Shadow, so that he will suffer horrors and be thus induced…”
To Appear To Levitate An Egg: “...by means of a string, and prepared as we have described…”
To Produce A Flatulence At Whim: “...which some have said that they have found it Amusing.”
To Put A Hex Upon A Pig: “...fix him then with your Eye, that he might know that you mean Business...”
For The Good Working Of Metal: “...strike likewise in this rhythm, using a Sure Hand and reciting as you do...”
To Vex A Ghost So That It May Depart: “...taking up lantern, bell, trumpet, and other such Instruments, the company must Parade three times about the perimeter, Reciting together in a loud voice…”
To Soothe A House-Hob: “...having placed the milk and honey so, sprinkle the herb and recite…”
To Soothe A Troll: “...having inscribed the charm upon the bell of the Goat, leave it there and depart at Speed. Be not disturbed by any Sounds, neither stopping nor looking back, only…”
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